After all the ‘Khana khud garam karo’ over the internet, let’s talk about the roots of the absolute nuisance. Mothers need to raise their sons right and teach them that all the house work isn’t just suppose to be done by the wife alone. Neither taking care of kids is the sole responsibility of only the mothers. Here are some tips for all the Ammis out their to raise their sons into helpful husbands and of course, better human beings :
- Don’t pick up their socks and dirty plates: You need to stop looking after your sons like they’re toddlers! Let them keep their plate in the kitchen themselves, and even wash it on their own. Don’t always go tidy their room up and pick up garments from the floor, for them. Teach them to be independent at ‘such work‘ too. Stop spoiling them now so that they don’t end up being spoilt for the rest of their lives.
- Discourage abusive language and sexist behavior: Children learn gender dynamics from how they’ve been raised. Teach as well as portray equality, don’t tell your daughters to not hit your brothers because “bhai ko nai maarte” but teach them its unethical to hit anyone regardless of their gender.
- Stop mansplaining: “Bhai ki baat maanlo” just because we’re taught to assume brothers or men of the house are always right, doesn’t mean they always are. This way you’re just filling your sons with sexism and they will end up with the same attitude while raising their kids.
- Teach them that a woman’s opinion MATTERS: Yes, they do, women too know about politics and every other matter that is considered to be as a topic for ‘only men.’ Teach them to NOT take women for granted, an opinion that you or your daughter gives them, is definitely equally important to the one given out by the male in the house.
- Encourage them to express emotions: Not only women should be allowed to be emotional but men too should be. Men can cry too, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong in it. They can wear pink too.
- Don’t define a different curfew for your son: Why do we only see men at chai dhabbas at night and not as many women? That’s because every mother like you treats your sons different than your daughters. Set the same times for both the genders, teach your sons about equality in literally every aspect of life.
- Don’t pressurize them to settle asap: “Bus mera beta jaldi se settle hojaye,” has to be the dialogue of every mother out there. If he is settled, he is ready to get married, regardless if the girl has yet settled or not. This just fills men with the assumption that only they can be the breadwinners, however, this is not true. Teach them to be okay if their wife can contribute equally or more to the expenses.
- Exhibit child-rearing as a shared responsibility: Why only pressure mothers about ‘bacho ki achi tarbiyat,’ why do we forget fathers have a role to play also. We’re often shocked to see the father changing the diaper of his kid, which should actually be considered normal. Hence, teach your sons that it is absolutely okay to do what a mother can do.